Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
