porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
