I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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