yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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