remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I intend to get homeless drunk
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
