my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
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