I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
