I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
