She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
