So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
