ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
