I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
