you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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