ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
