My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
