Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
