I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
