Whod you bang
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
