i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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