i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We had to coat check the pizza.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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