He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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