she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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