I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
