the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
