i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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