he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
