I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
