Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize