i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
