after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
