Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
