sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
