Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
