i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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