So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
they need to just BURY HIM!
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
