Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
