I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
