To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
third nipple confirmed
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
