JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
