Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
i believe in u and ur pee
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
