What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
