Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
