Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Buhtt sex?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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