whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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