So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
