The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize