wakey wakey hands off snakey
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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