I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
