Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
