you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
