we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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