i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I would fuck him just for his dog
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
