I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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