I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
