Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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