she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize