I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
my being single is dangerous.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
