That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
